Our Family

Our Family

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Motherhood

Being a mom has been the most amazing, shocking experience I have ever had. I always knew that I wanted to be a mommy but had no idea what to expect. Yes, I'm an early childhood teacher and have been around babies but everything changes when you become responsible for the little blessing God has given you.

I'm not the mom I thought I would be. I thought I would be much tougher and more okay with cries but I'm not. I HATE hearing Karaline cry (or even fuss) for that matter. I don't want to raise a spoiled child, but I also want her to know that I will do everything in my power to meet her needs. It's a tough line. I'm getting better at not rushing over with each and every whimper but it is hard! Sometimes I wonder if I would be the same parent if I stayed at home with her. I'm sure these are all "normal mom" worries but there are many things I didn't consider.

I want to spend ALL of my time with her. Obsessive? Maybe...err...probably... but there is no one I would rather be with. Joey is a close second- most of the time - but Karaline definitely takes first :)

I also thought that a baby wouldn't dictate things I do. SILLY ME! example: I haven't traveled to visit family since Easter. For the last few months, Karaline {screams} in the car after the first 5 or so minutes and continues for most of the ride. I always thought that babies cry it out- not her. This is just one of the examples of her being strongwilled (not sure where she gets it!).

My nephew came and visited a few weeks ago. My mom and sister brought him down and then he took the train home. His train left from Winter Haven - about a 30 minute drive- and Karaline successfully screamed and cried the entire time. LJ was thankful he was able to take the train and didn't have to ride 2.5 hours with us. I don't know if she gets car sick or doesn't like being strapped in or not seeing anyone, but it is torture! While I would love to see family more often, it's really tough for me to want to travel with her being miserable. And packing the car- that's a whole other task!

There are many other expectations and ideas I had about being a mom. I'm learning that I have to do what works for our family. I still like hearing what has worked and not worked for my friends but am accepting that I may not be the same mom they are and it's okay!

2 comments:

  1. I'm in the same boat with you! I swore I'd let my kids cry it out and they'd get used to not being picked up all the time. Then I had them and saw how precious they were and I just can't bear to hear them cry.

    Charlotte was the same way in the car. Once she turned one and we could turn the car seat around it got much better. I think she just didn't like not being able to see anything. But driving around town with her was horrible. Anytime we stopped at a stop light, she'd start screaming. I remember a trip home from Valdosta after my cousin's graduation and she screamed the entire way home! I stopped at a rest area just to check and make sure there wasn't anything poking her. As soon as I picked her up out of her car seat, the crying stopped. I put that stubborn thing back in her seat and she continued to cry the rest of the way home. Thankfully, Naomi has been a better traveler than her big sister. She's actually still sitting backwards in her car seat because they're saying it's safest for them until they're two now. But Charlotte, for my sanity, I had to flip her around on her first birthday!

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  2. This post hits home with me...everything you describe I totally understand. Traveling up to visit my family was easy with Ann but then Chuck came along and he was NOT into it at all. Things change for sure and priorities shift - it never stops even as they get older. But just as you have described it - I too cannot imagine it being any other way. And finding your own way as a mom is the way it should be. It sounds and looks to me like you have got this down :)

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